When physicality is impossible between two people because of distance, how much are memories relied upon versus pure fantasy? I'd like to think it's a happy medium but being a female that is prone to flights of fancy... I wonder.
Memories can be selective and subject to mental revision. Repeated over in one's head, I don't know if it's possible to keep the facts perfectly straight. It's akin to a game of broken telephone, except there's only one phone that connects with itself; a snake swallowing its own tail.
I suppose it depends on how long you knew the person before the physical black-out and the length of separation; as more and more time passes memory reruns might not suffice and artisitc liberties are an ever more attractive alternative to having new experiences with the real thing. I would imagine a common thought thread would be of the next encounter. What will that person look like, feel like, smell like? What will be said? How will it feel to be in their arms again? Will your heart literally explode?!
Technology has allowed us to close some gaps. I can say with confidence that there are some people in my life that might have fallen off the radar had it not been for things like Facebook and Skype. In some ways through digital communication, the connection can be maintained or enriched even! Remove the physicality and you're then able to see what, if anything, serves as the foundation of the bond.
Personally though, I love pure fantasy. It can get you into trouble if you allow yourself to become emotionally invested in imagined events actually transpiring as originally envisioned, because most of the time, they don't. But I hardly think that that fact is going to stop me from replaying what I want to happen over in my mind. I have a REALLY good imagination:)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Rodin's "The Thinker" probably had Guyon Canal Syndrome
I felt a tingling in my hand last week. That week saw me spending obscene amounts of time in front of either my computer at work or at home; my hand usually clicking away with my mouse, in one position for the most part. So I looked it up, what is this tingle? Turns out it was a type of Ulnar Nerve Impingement called Guyon Canal Syndrome... Like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome but affects a different nerve in the arm and hand.
"Guyon's canal syndrome has several causes. Overuse of the wrist from heavy gripping, twisting, and repeated wrist and hand motions can cause symptoms. Working with the hand bent down and outward can squeeze the nerve inside Guyon's canal.
Constant pressure on the palm of the hand can produce symptoms. This is common in cyclists and weight lifters from the pressure of gripping. It can also happen after running a jackhammer or when using crutches.
Pessure or irritation of the ulnar nerve can cause symptoms of Guyon's canal syndrome. A traumatic wrist injury may cause swelling and extra pressure on the ulnar nerve within the canal. Arthritis in the wrist bones and joints may eventually irritate and compress the ulnar nerve. In rare cases, the ulnar artery that travels right beside the nerve may be damaged and form a blood clot. The symptoms caused by the clot mimic Guyon's canal syndrome. The lack of blood supply to the ulnar nerve is believed to cause the symptoms."
"Guyon's canal syndrome has several causes. Overuse of the wrist from heavy gripping, twisting, and repeated wrist and hand motions can cause symptoms. Working with the hand bent down and outward can squeeze the nerve inside Guyon's canal. 
Constant pressure on the palm of the hand can produce symptoms. This is common in cyclists and weight lifters from the pressure of gripping. It can also happen after running a jackhammer or when using crutches. Pessure or irritation of the ulnar nerve can cause symptoms of Guyon's canal syndrome. A traumatic wrist injury may cause swelling and extra pressure on the ulnar nerve within the canal. Arthritis in the wrist bones and joints may eventually irritate and compress the ulnar nerve. In rare cases, the ulnar artery that travels right beside the nerve may be damaged and form a blood clot. The symptoms caused by the clot mimic Guyon's canal syndrome. The lack of blood supply to the ulnar nerve is believed to cause the symptoms."
It got me thinking, randomly, about 
Rodin's "The Thinker", the stoic man hunched over in contemplation, chin firmly resting on his bent wrist. Little did he know that while in this position he was placing undue pressure on his ulnar nerve that travels through the Guyon canal. It's a shame he's stuck in that position, cast in bronze, I found shaking out and massaging my hand really did the trick!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I Am Thankful
Men: They're not all bad.
It was suggested that I discuss my more positive experiences with the male gender, but I am admittedly struggling with the subject. It's not that I believe that all men are pigs... hardly. It's just I find it difficult to talk about the esteemed qualities of men I know without unintentionally juxtaposing them with the shitshow behaviour that seems so readily available to me. But left only exists in relation to right and up could not be without down... and so it goes.
There are fabulous men in my life and seeing as we just had our Thanksgiving, I'd like to share my thanks for these men, the nice guys:)
My brother: Obviously, I have much love for my brother. We were all somewhat worried about his path growing up, but he's found his place in this world and has grown so much as a person along the way. Despite the conflicts that we've had, he is a rock that I know will always be there. He is a self-respecting man that treats his lady, my best friend, very well. He indulges us when we go off on a womanly jabber sessions; listens to talk about periods, babies and hair products. He rolls his eyes and probably tunes us out, but he's tolerant and lets us unapologetically be girls.
My University Buddy: This Guitar Hero, pot smoker is the one of the few people with whom I can have a philosophical discussion and doesn't end in yelling... this may or may not be because we agree on most points concerning existence. He and I can discuss pretty much anything and even if we do disagree, we're able to try to understand the other person's logic first, rather than immediately defend our own positions. It really is an old school dialogue (think Socrates) and I've yet to find anyone able to carry on such a conversation without it either turning into a lecture or a fight. The mistakes that he has made, he admits freely to, and has made steps towards change, and I respect him for that.
The Dutch Brothers: Oh these two... The first one I met, the elder, makes an exceptional guy friend. He is so in love with his now wife that I have never gotten a weird ulterior motive vibe from him, ever. This puts me at ease. I don't have to wonder why he's paying me attention or feel guilty for hanging out with him without his lady. He is devoted to all his friends and I consider myself incredibly lucky to be counted among them.
His brother... in the shitstorm of disgusting male behaviour that I've encountered over recent months, this one has been a beacon... even if it's only in my head. He's got the 3 R's down as far as I can tell: respectful, refined and romantic. He feigns interest in the mundane details of my lunch and can carry on in depth discussions about education, art and life in general over facebook chat... And although he's a million miles away, I enjoy my semi-daily dose of JG.
Surrogate Dad: My main man out in Manitoba took interest in me because he had to but cares beyond the call of duty without obligation. He's the one of the first that I share good and bad news with and I can always count on him for honesty, compassion and wisdom. Without him I would not know what I do about myself or have the ability to keep learning and growing. He is a source of empowerment and his opinion I hold above many others.
Fishhook: Every woman needs at least one gay friend... Mine thinks every woman needs a gay son. This man indulges me where other won't. He encourages and sarcastically accepts my vanity, (sometimes offensive) outspokenness and depravity. I can be naughty and safe at the same time. It's sweet:)
These men help me forget about the boobs that I encounter daily. I wish there were more of them, but I know what they look like and will be keeping an eye.
Hey, I didn't do so badly in the juxtaposition department!
It was suggested that I discuss my more positive experiences with the male gender, but I am admittedly struggling with the subject. It's not that I believe that all men are pigs... hardly. It's just I find it difficult to talk about the esteemed qualities of men I know without unintentionally juxtaposing them with the shitshow behaviour that seems so readily available to me. But left only exists in relation to right and up could not be without down... and so it goes.
There are fabulous men in my life and seeing as we just had our Thanksgiving, I'd like to share my thanks for these men, the nice guys:)
My brother: Obviously, I have much love for my brother. We were all somewhat worried about his path growing up, but he's found his place in this world and has grown so much as a person along the way. Despite the conflicts that we've had, he is a rock that I know will always be there. He is a self-respecting man that treats his lady, my best friend, very well. He indulges us when we go off on a womanly jabber sessions; listens to talk about periods, babies and hair products. He rolls his eyes and probably tunes us out, but he's tolerant and lets us unapologetically be girls.
My University Buddy: This Guitar Hero, pot smoker is the one of the few people with whom I can have a philosophical discussion and doesn't end in yelling... this may or may not be because we agree on most points concerning existence. He and I can discuss pretty much anything and even if we do disagree, we're able to try to understand the other person's logic first, rather than immediately defend our own positions. It really is an old school dialogue (think Socrates) and I've yet to find anyone able to carry on such a conversation without it either turning into a lecture or a fight. The mistakes that he has made, he admits freely to, and has made steps towards change, and I respect him for that.
The Dutch Brothers: Oh these two... The first one I met, the elder, makes an exceptional guy friend. He is so in love with his now wife that I have never gotten a weird ulterior motive vibe from him, ever. This puts me at ease. I don't have to wonder why he's paying me attention or feel guilty for hanging out with him without his lady. He is devoted to all his friends and I consider myself incredibly lucky to be counted among them.
His brother... in the shitstorm of disgusting male behaviour that I've encountered over recent months, this one has been a beacon... even if it's only in my head. He's got the 3 R's down as far as I can tell: respectful, refined and romantic. He feigns interest in the mundane details of my lunch and can carry on in depth discussions about education, art and life in general over facebook chat... And although he's a million miles away, I enjoy my semi-daily dose of JG.
Surrogate Dad: My main man out in Manitoba took interest in me because he had to but cares beyond the call of duty without obligation. He's the one of the first that I share good and bad news with and I can always count on him for honesty, compassion and wisdom. Without him I would not know what I do about myself or have the ability to keep learning and growing. He is a source of empowerment and his opinion I hold above many others.
Fishhook: Every woman needs at least one gay friend... Mine thinks every woman needs a gay son. This man indulges me where other won't. He encourages and sarcastically accepts my vanity, (sometimes offensive) outspokenness and depravity. I can be naughty and safe at the same time. It's sweet:)
These men help me forget about the boobs that I encounter daily. I wish there were more of them, but I know what they look like and will be keeping an eye.
Hey, I didn't do so badly in the juxtaposition department!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind
This boy is amazing. I can't wait to see the great things he will do.Imagine living in Malawi and building an electricity producing windmill from scrap metal and tree branches for your family at the age of 14, based on information found in a library book, that is written in a language you hardly understand. Incredible!!!!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Chauvinist vs. Feminist
I recently met a guy at a party, very talented guitarist and thank goodness for that because otherwise I wouldn't understand why the universe created him. I was just interested in knowing the guy because he's so darn talented, but he had other things in mind. I've posted most of the online chat we had. I changed his name because at the end of the day I feel sorry for the guy. I don't think I've ever encountered a person like this before... I don't even know how to categorize him!!
Strangely enough, our conversation gives me a great sense of validation. He's the kind of guy that I was thinking of when I wrote my last posting... though his sexual talk was less jovial and more angry. Whatever, the guy is a ridiculous prick and I'll happily spend the rest of my days never having to interact with him again.
...
2:29pmMichael
are you a hippy girl?
2:30pmMelanie
um, my look is urban hippy chic...
lol
naw, I guess I'm a little bit hippy...
I just like being comfy
2:30pmMichael
nice
2:31pmMelanie
but at the same time I love high heels
2:31pmMichael
I think yer hot..
2:31pmMelanie
just rarely wear them cuz I'm a social liability when I do.... er... don't say that
2:31pmMichael
why?
2:32pmMelanie
I'm sure you mean it as a compliment, I just hate being called hot... call it a quirk.
2:32pmMichael
what would you rather be called?
scrum-diddly-umpsish
2:33pmMichael
that means tasty by the way
2:35pmMelanie
lol... I dunno... smart, funny, enthusiastic.... sorry, I've been called hot since I was 12... it's kind of lost its magic... to me hot=fuckable, disposable... and I am neither
2:35pmMichael
disposable?
weird..
2:36pmMelanie
hookers are hot... you know?
the skanks looking to pick up in the club district are hot
2:36pmMichael
yeah, but they cost money
2:36pmMelanie
I'm not hot
2:37pmMichael
ok
2:38pmMelanie
haha... sorry, little feminist coming out there
2:38pmMichael
yeah.. sounds like it
2:38pmMelanie
there are just so many other words in the English language... that one's pretty done for me
2:39pmMichael
Ive dated a feminist once.. the sex is lousy, and they hate intimacy...
they hate male sexuality
2:39pmMelanie
ouch! way to paint with broad strokes!
2:39pmMichael
they think of male sexuality and violence
and=as
2:39pmMelanie
not all feminist are created equal
some male sexuality is violent tho... SOME
2:40pmMichael
this is what I have to say to them... if you don't like sex with men.. be a dyke.. stop telling me im a rapist just because I like to fuck girls
2:41pmMelanie
who said you were a rapist because you like having sex with women?
2:41pmMichael
ive heard so much male bashing.. I dont care anymore
the nice men are paying for what a SMALL minority of men do... just because the media jumps ALL over it when this minority acts that way
and Ive had to pay for it by getting knocked by women who believe the television
the television is crock of shit.. it magnifies a small portion of reality and makes it seem bigger than what it is
2:42pmMelanie
dude you need to get out of Rhil
2:43pmMichael
and people believe it
2:43pmMelanie
not all people
but yeah, I gotcha
2:43pmMichael
so yeah. basically I don't want to get married, I think marriage is shit.. and I am looking for girls who can enjoy sex without needing to have a legally binding agreement
and I find the ones who choose to enjoy it that way
without all the guilt bullshit
so yeah. thats what I think
men want sex... thats life
2:44pmMelanie
tell me how you really feel:P
2:44pmMichael
thats it
2:46pmMelanie
I was kidding. yeah I get that men want sex... but "wanting" and "being entitled to" are two different things that sometimes men can get confused... women too! so does that mean that you don't want any relationships in your life? relationship sex tends to be the best... get to know each other's bodies, likes, dislikes
2:47pmMichael
I am capable of explaining my likes and dislikes, and listening to the likes and dislikes of others..
2:47pmMelanie
that's not what I mean
2:48pmMichael
are you looking to get married?
2:48pmMelanie
one day, probably
just haven't found anyone worthy
2:48pmMichael
I don't see a point to getting married...
it means nothing other than a financial agreement
if we like eachother.. then we choose to be around eachother
2:49pmMelanie
sure, but there are a lot of benefits to being married, and if you're going to be with the person anyway, may as well take advantage of those perks... benefits like shared taxes, being next of kin, not mention having a partner
2:50pmMichael
I have lived with a woman already in my life.. I know how the system operates..
2:50pmMelanie
etc
2:50pmMichael
and its not in my favour.. that is for sure
I just dont want to be owned by someone
under the threat of the law
2:50pmMelanie
whoa.... someone's jaded
2:50pmMichael
every woman I was with seriously.. I loved dearly
and everytime
love was taken advantage of..
so I learned the hard way
shared taxes is hardly a benefit
2:51pmMelanie
learned what? that things won't last so don't get too involved? Sound like you've just chosen the wrong women
2:51pmMichael
I want to meet people who are not hung up on tradition
people are afraid to step out of line.. to they stick to tradition
I however, do what I want
regardless of whoever may shame me
2:53pmMelanie
well you're certainly passionate about it
2:53pmMichael
well.. I learned this..
the majority of women want marriage, family, and children... and you need to pay for that... so I am looking for a minority of women that exist.. who dont want that.
my line of work does not guarantee money.. but it guarantees my happiness
2:54pmMelanie
well, you haven't found it here... just thought I should let you know
2:54pmMichael
so I do not qualify for those who want security..
thanks for being honest
2:54pmMelanie
I want babies one day... and I don't intend to work to pay for someone else to raise them
I can’t imagine passing off my child at 1 year and going back to work... full time anyway, not for the first 5 years or so
2:55pmMichael
I dont want children...
2:56pmMelanie
why?
2:56pmMichael
I dont believe the world we live in is a good place to bring new life
2:56pmMelanie
sorry, you have every right to want what you want... it just puzzles me when ppl don't want any kids at all
2:57pmMelanie
we can bring better energy into the world when we share it with our children... if I accomplish nothing else, and that's unlikely, I'll know that I made a positive impression on the earth by bring in loving individuals like my children
2:58pmMichael
music is my children...
2:59pmMelanie
well, this may sound harsh, but that may be all you have in your old age if you keep this mentality
just sayin
no partner, no children...
2:59pmMichael
I suffered the death of the illusion of love...
2:59pmMelanie
what will you be left with?
ouch
2:59pmMichael
my accomplishments
2:59pmMelanie
that's so sad
2:59pmMichael
It's not real
it evolves into wanting ot have children
its nature
3:00pmMelanie
wow... you and I are like complete opposites eh?
3:00pmMichael
nature gives us illusions so that we live out its plan
I lost that illusion
adult love is a contract
under the law
3:00pmMelanie
noooo
3:00pmMichael
involving money
3:00pmMelanie
no
no, that may be marriage, but it's not love
3:01pmMichael
why do most of you want to get married then?
because it guarantees you money
and you wont marry a guy that doesnt have stable money
so its a contract
good character, talent, niceness, means nothing.... without the money
ive seen it time and time again
3:03pmMelanie
men evolutionarily want a women with good birthing hips, women want someone who can support them while they tend to their young... it's not shallow it's nature... money can be indicative of different character traits
hardworking, dedicated, loyal, ambitious
3:04pmMichael
I do something that brings people happiness and a good time.. its just that our world makes it difficult for people like me to make money... its the way I was made, to express music..
3:04pmMelanie
sometimes the success rate doesn't reflect the amount of work put in... but I wouldn't go with a guy just because he had money
dude, you're young... be patient
3:04pmMichael
I am all those things to the max.. its just it doesnt make money in this culture
3:04pmMelanie
again, be patient
3:04pmMichael
I lived with a woman already.. I know how the system operates
3:05pmMelanie
you don't have to have a day job... that says something
3:05pmMichael
you can control our behaviour by threatening the law..
I will never be in that place again
3:05pmMelanie
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! You live with ONE woman and you think you've got it all figured out!?!?!
I was essentially owned by a guy 4 years ago... haven't been with anyone since... but don't jump to conclusions like that!!
don't let one bad relationship get you down
3:06pmMichael
you know what I dont like.. when people call girls sluts because they fuck lots of guys
why should a woman be called a slut if she likes to fuck lots of guys.. its her right..
3:06pmMelanie
well, neither do i
3:06pmMichael
to be honest
I love sluts.. they make me feel great
I dont think they should be viewed negatively
3:07pmMelanie
well, i think it's the intention behind the sex, not the sex itself
3:07pmMichael
a woman should be able to enjoy all the sex she wants without being shamed
and you know what
I love sex with strangers.. and I dont give a shit if I ever see them again
I dont even need to know their name..
3:07pmMelanie
sure, but many times it's her that's shaming herself because she doesn't actually want the sex she's having or she thinks it will bring her things that it doesn't actually bring
3:07pmMichael
I love going to other towns.. playing gigs... and having a fellatio cunnilingus exchange
i fuckin love it
and I am not ashamed
3:08pmMelanie
good for you
3:08pmMichael
and I dont care about the feminist cock bashing bullshit that comes from closet dykes
3:09pmMelanie
wow... um... don't really know what to say to that
3:09pmMichael
we just hear so much of these days..
its mindless yammering that people are told to believe
I love sexual based relationships..
no names, no talking..
yummy
3:11pmMelanie
sounds very fulfilling
3:11pmMichael
well it certainly isn't draining
like other things
3:11pmMelanie
listen, if you're just looking to get your cock wet then I think you're talking to the wrong girl
I've got way more to offer than sex, tho, the sex is phenomenal..
3:12pmMichael
im glad we covered all this
3:12pmMelanie
and if all you've got is a hard on I think I'll pass
you sound really angry
and I don't like being around that kind of energy
3:13pmMichael
yeah.. and the whole feminist thing is a dance ive done before..
3:13pmMelanie
yeah, well I've done the chauvinist douchebag thing too
good thing you can play the guitar
3:13pmMichael
she is a faithful mistress
3:13pmMichael
in regards to your chauvinist call.... I am self sufficient.
I just dont care to be used
3:16pmMelanie
treat others how you'd like to be treated...
Michael
nice idea.. doesnt work in reality
3:17pmMelanie
pfffft, so says you bitter man
3:17pmMichael
realistic man
3:17pmMelanie
reality is a matter of perception
3:19pmMelanie
anyway, I've got some shit to do... Sorry, but I don't think I'm interested in Thursday anymore. Not only are we not on the same page, we're not reading the same book
Holy crap can you believe that???? Had a feeling there was a bit of red neck in him, but whoa!
Strangely enough, our conversation gives me a great sense of validation. He's the kind of guy that I was thinking of when I wrote my last posting... though his sexual talk was less jovial and more angry. Whatever, the guy is a ridiculous prick and I'll happily spend the rest of my days never having to interact with him again.
...
2:29pmMichael
are you a hippy girl?
2:30pmMelanie
um, my look is urban hippy chic...
lol
naw, I guess I'm a little bit hippy...
I just like being comfy
2:30pmMichael
nice
2:31pmMelanie
but at the same time I love high heels
2:31pmMichael
I think yer hot..
2:31pmMelanie
just rarely wear them cuz I'm a social liability when I do.... er... don't say that
2:31pmMichael
why?
2:32pmMelanie
I'm sure you mean it as a compliment, I just hate being called hot... call it a quirk.
2:32pmMichael
what would you rather be called?
scrum-diddly-umpsish
2:33pmMichael
that means tasty by the way
2:35pmMelanie
lol... I dunno... smart, funny, enthusiastic.... sorry, I've been called hot since I was 12... it's kind of lost its magic... to me hot=fuckable, disposable... and I am neither
2:35pmMichael
disposable?
weird..
2:36pmMelanie
hookers are hot... you know?
the skanks looking to pick up in the club district are hot
2:36pmMichael
yeah, but they cost money
2:36pmMelanie
I'm not hot
2:37pmMichael
ok
2:38pmMelanie
haha... sorry, little feminist coming out there
2:38pmMichael
yeah.. sounds like it
2:38pmMelanie
there are just so many other words in the English language... that one's pretty done for me
2:39pmMichael
Ive dated a feminist once.. the sex is lousy, and they hate intimacy...
they hate male sexuality
2:39pmMelanie
ouch! way to paint with broad strokes!
2:39pmMichael
they think of male sexuality and violence
and=as
2:39pmMelanie
not all feminist are created equal
some male sexuality is violent tho... SOME
2:40pmMichael
this is what I have to say to them... if you don't like sex with men.. be a dyke.. stop telling me im a rapist just because I like to fuck girls
2:41pmMelanie
who said you were a rapist because you like having sex with women?
2:41pmMichael
ive heard so much male bashing.. I dont care anymore
the nice men are paying for what a SMALL minority of men do... just because the media jumps ALL over it when this minority acts that way
and Ive had to pay for it by getting knocked by women who believe the television
the television is crock of shit.. it magnifies a small portion of reality and makes it seem bigger than what it is
2:42pmMelanie
dude you need to get out of Rhil
2:43pmMichael
and people believe it
2:43pmMelanie
not all people
but yeah, I gotcha
2:43pmMichael
so yeah. basically I don't want to get married, I think marriage is shit.. and I am looking for girls who can enjoy sex without needing to have a legally binding agreement
and I find the ones who choose to enjoy it that way
without all the guilt bullshit
so yeah. thats what I think
men want sex... thats life
2:44pmMelanie
tell me how you really feel:P
2:44pmMichael
thats it
2:46pmMelanie
I was kidding. yeah I get that men want sex... but "wanting" and "being entitled to" are two different things that sometimes men can get confused... women too! so does that mean that you don't want any relationships in your life? relationship sex tends to be the best... get to know each other's bodies, likes, dislikes
2:47pmMichael
I am capable of explaining my likes and dislikes, and listening to the likes and dislikes of others..
2:47pmMelanie
that's not what I mean
2:48pmMichael
are you looking to get married?
2:48pmMelanie
one day, probably
just haven't found anyone worthy
2:48pmMichael
I don't see a point to getting married...
it means nothing other than a financial agreement
if we like eachother.. then we choose to be around eachother
2:49pmMelanie
sure, but there are a lot of benefits to being married, and if you're going to be with the person anyway, may as well take advantage of those perks... benefits like shared taxes, being next of kin, not mention having a partner
2:50pmMichael
I have lived with a woman already in my life.. I know how the system operates..
2:50pmMelanie
etc
2:50pmMichael
and its not in my favour.. that is for sure
I just dont want to be owned by someone
under the threat of the law
2:50pmMelanie
whoa.... someone's jaded
2:50pmMichael
every woman I was with seriously.. I loved dearly
and everytime
love was taken advantage of..
so I learned the hard way
shared taxes is hardly a benefit
2:51pmMelanie
learned what? that things won't last so don't get too involved? Sound like you've just chosen the wrong women
2:51pmMichael
I want to meet people who are not hung up on tradition
people are afraid to step out of line.. to they stick to tradition
I however, do what I want
regardless of whoever may shame me
2:53pmMelanie
well you're certainly passionate about it
2:53pmMichael
well.. I learned this..
the majority of women want marriage, family, and children... and you need to pay for that... so I am looking for a minority of women that exist.. who dont want that.
my line of work does not guarantee money.. but it guarantees my happiness
2:54pmMelanie
well, you haven't found it here... just thought I should let you know
2:54pmMichael
so I do not qualify for those who want security..
thanks for being honest
2:54pmMelanie
I want babies one day... and I don't intend to work to pay for someone else to raise them
I can’t imagine passing off my child at 1 year and going back to work... full time anyway, not for the first 5 years or so
2:55pmMichael
I dont want children...
2:56pmMelanie
why?
2:56pmMichael
I dont believe the world we live in is a good place to bring new life
2:56pmMelanie
sorry, you have every right to want what you want... it just puzzles me when ppl don't want any kids at all
2:57pmMelanie
we can bring better energy into the world when we share it with our children... if I accomplish nothing else, and that's unlikely, I'll know that I made a positive impression on the earth by bring in loving individuals like my children
2:58pmMichael
music is my children...
2:59pmMelanie
well, this may sound harsh, but that may be all you have in your old age if you keep this mentality
just sayin
no partner, no children...
2:59pmMichael
I suffered the death of the illusion of love...
2:59pmMelanie
what will you be left with?
ouch
2:59pmMichael
my accomplishments
2:59pmMelanie
that's so sad
2:59pmMichael
It's not real
it evolves into wanting ot have children
its nature
3:00pmMelanie
wow... you and I are like complete opposites eh?
3:00pmMichael
nature gives us illusions so that we live out its plan
I lost that illusion
adult love is a contract
under the law
3:00pmMelanie
noooo
3:00pmMichael
involving money
3:00pmMelanie
no
no, that may be marriage, but it's not love
3:01pmMichael
why do most of you want to get married then?
because it guarantees you money
and you wont marry a guy that doesnt have stable money
so its a contract
good character, talent, niceness, means nothing.... without the money
ive seen it time and time again
3:03pmMelanie
men evolutionarily want a women with good birthing hips, women want someone who can support them while they tend to their young... it's not shallow it's nature... money can be indicative of different character traits
hardworking, dedicated, loyal, ambitious
3:04pmMichael
I do something that brings people happiness and a good time.. its just that our world makes it difficult for people like me to make money... its the way I was made, to express music..
3:04pmMelanie
sometimes the success rate doesn't reflect the amount of work put in... but I wouldn't go with a guy just because he had money
dude, you're young... be patient
3:04pmMichael
I am all those things to the max.. its just it doesnt make money in this culture
3:04pmMelanie
again, be patient
3:04pmMichael
I lived with a woman already.. I know how the system operates
3:05pmMelanie
you don't have to have a day job... that says something
3:05pmMichael
you can control our behaviour by threatening the law..
I will never be in that place again
3:05pmMelanie
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! You live with ONE woman and you think you've got it all figured out!?!?!
I was essentially owned by a guy 4 years ago... haven't been with anyone since... but don't jump to conclusions like that!!
don't let one bad relationship get you down
3:06pmMichael
you know what I dont like.. when people call girls sluts because they fuck lots of guys
why should a woman be called a slut if she likes to fuck lots of guys.. its her right..
3:06pmMelanie
well, neither do i
3:06pmMichael
to be honest
I love sluts.. they make me feel great
I dont think they should be viewed negatively
3:07pmMelanie
well, i think it's the intention behind the sex, not the sex itself
3:07pmMichael
a woman should be able to enjoy all the sex she wants without being shamed
and you know what
I love sex with strangers.. and I dont give a shit if I ever see them again
I dont even need to know their name..
3:07pmMelanie
sure, but many times it's her that's shaming herself because she doesn't actually want the sex she's having or she thinks it will bring her things that it doesn't actually bring
3:07pmMichael
I love going to other towns.. playing gigs... and having a fellatio cunnilingus exchange
i fuckin love it
and I am not ashamed
3:08pmMelanie
good for you
3:08pmMichael
and I dont care about the feminist cock bashing bullshit that comes from closet dykes
3:09pmMelanie
wow... um... don't really know what to say to that
3:09pmMichael
we just hear so much of these days..
its mindless yammering that people are told to believe
I love sexual based relationships..
no names, no talking..
yummy
3:11pmMelanie
sounds very fulfilling
3:11pmMichael
well it certainly isn't draining
like other things
3:11pmMelanie
listen, if you're just looking to get your cock wet then I think you're talking to the wrong girl
I've got way more to offer than sex, tho, the sex is phenomenal..
3:12pmMichael
im glad we covered all this
3:12pmMelanie
and if all you've got is a hard on I think I'll pass
you sound really angry
and I don't like being around that kind of energy
3:13pmMichael
yeah.. and the whole feminist thing is a dance ive done before..
3:13pmMelanie
yeah, well I've done the chauvinist douchebag thing too
good thing you can play the guitar
3:13pmMichael
she is a faithful mistress
3:13pmMichael
in regards to your chauvinist call.... I am self sufficient.
I just dont care to be used
3:16pmMelanie
treat others how you'd like to be treated...
Michael
nice idea.. doesnt work in reality
3:17pmMelanie
pfffft, so says you bitter man
3:17pmMichael
realistic man
3:17pmMelanie
reality is a matter of perception
3:19pmMelanie
anyway, I've got some shit to do... Sorry, but I don't think I'm interested in Thursday anymore. Not only are we not on the same page, we're not reading the same book
Holy crap can you believe that???? Had a feeling there was a bit of red neck in him, but whoa!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Menfolk, Women's Expectations and the Lowest Common Denominator
My evening adventures through the city this weekend brought something to my attention. Men use sexually charged language inappropriately to try to be funny. Shocker!
Case in point: upon arrival at the intersection of Dundas and Ossington, my friend and I were approached by a guy (I refuse to call him a man, but he wasn't a boy either) whose opening line was about the heat in the city. Yes it is warm and yes we are sweaty. Well, he felt the need to share that he too was sweaty, but it wasn't his forehead he was concerned with, rather he was experiencing discomfort somewhere else due to the fact he was not wearing undergarments. My friend and I looked at one another and promptly told the guy "we're going over here now".
Was I supposed to be charmed by his confession? Have men actually begun to think that their not wearing underwear is even remotely in the same category of sexiness as a woman being sans panties? Fine, don't wear underwear, but don't think that I want to know about it and don't try to entice me by sharing that knowledge. There are things I need to know, and then there's that.
I find it interesting the way in which men try to talk to women. Granted, the guy at the intersection was clearly under the influence and I'm sure that affected how he handled the situation, but still. How is it that men don't yet understand that being sexually provocative is not a good way to reach women with whom they have sexual interest? If you're talking to me, I already understand that you're probably interested in sex with me, so spare me the theatrics! If you have anything real to offer you wouldn't have to resort to these tactless tactics. Men don't seem to understand that the best way to woo a woman is by #1 being interesting to her, #2 making her believe that SHE is interesting to you and #3 not acting like a frat boy. When having a pleasant conversation do no ruin the vibe by saying something that implies your sexual interest in me. When you do that I feel uncomfortable and want to get away from you. Why'd you have to go there?
What is the cause of this? A book I read a couple of years ago may offer some answers: Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy (http://www.ariellevy.net/books.php?article=2). In her book she describes how female sexuality has been bastardized, reframing exploitation as empowerment. Gone are the days where a man was required to treat a lady as such. Now it seems that the "No Girls Allowed" club is admitting females but has passed on the former obligation to clean up their language. Girls are now in on the joke, but are still the butt of it as well.
Case in point: upon arrival at the intersection of Dundas and Ossington, my friend and I were approached by a guy (I refuse to call him a man, but he wasn't a boy either) whose opening line was about the heat in the city. Yes it is warm and yes we are sweaty. Well, he felt the need to share that he too was sweaty, but it wasn't his forehead he was concerned with, rather he was experiencing discomfort somewhere else due to the fact he was not wearing undergarments. My friend and I looked at one another and promptly told the guy "we're going over here now".
Was I supposed to be charmed by his confession? Have men actually begun to think that their not wearing underwear is even remotely in the same category of sexiness as a woman being sans panties? Fine, don't wear underwear, but don't think that I want to know about it and don't try to entice me by sharing that knowledge. There are things I need to know, and then there's that.
I find it interesting the way in which men try to talk to women. Granted, the guy at the intersection was clearly under the influence and I'm sure that affected how he handled the situation, but still. How is it that men don't yet understand that being sexually provocative is not a good way to reach women with whom they have sexual interest? If you're talking to me, I already understand that you're probably interested in sex with me, so spare me the theatrics! If you have anything real to offer you wouldn't have to resort to these tactless tactics. Men don't seem to understand that the best way to woo a woman is by #1 being interesting to her, #2 making her believe that SHE is interesting to you and #3 not acting like a frat boy. When having a pleasant conversation do no ruin the vibe by saying something that implies your sexual interest in me. When you do that I feel uncomfortable and want to get away from you. Why'd you have to go there?
What is the cause of this? A book I read a couple of years ago may offer some answers: Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy (http://www.ariellevy.net/books.php?article=2). In her book she describes how female sexuality has been bastardized, reframing exploitation as empowerment. Gone are the days where a man was required to treat a lady as such. Now it seems that the "No Girls Allowed" club is admitting females but has passed on the former obligation to clean up their language. Girls are now in on the joke, but are still the butt of it as well.
Yes, women are sexual creatures. Yes, we can be dirty little girls sometimes. Do we want to be treated as though we are sluts off the get-go? Umm, well, I don't! I have been treated like a piece of sexual meat since I was 12 years-old (not exclusively, but it’s happened) and I find the level of refreshment sad when I encounter a straight man that is more interested in my head than in my pants. I am on guard, waiting for the bomb to drop. Even general comments about sexuality, when delivered without a sufficient respectful build-up, come across as off-colour and essentially ruin what might have been a pleasant conversation. I now distrust the non-sexual things you've said as smoke and mirrors to "get me".
Why do we have to be sexualized to be interesting? Why is it that now instead of hiding and being shamed by our sexuality we are now being encouraged, and is some instances expected, to wield it as a weapon or share it with anyone and everyone? Since when is giving it up right away a good thing for the woman? It shows she knows what she wants. Really? Or is it that we'll take whatever we can get, now that we don't require much of men?
We can have sex with whomever we please now that we have the pill and pseudo-pornographic behaviour has become mainstream... Strippercize anyone? Sex is normal and public and anyone who wants to have it can, granted they can find a willing partner.
Sex is easy. It's not that hard to find sex... but love. There's the toughy. I sometimes wonder if men are interested in love. If they are, they have a funny way of showing it, as most of the behaviour I've witnessed mainly focuses on trying to get their dicks wet. I think men are capable of love and do seek it but women have become so indiscriminate that people who have no business being in a relationship together are hooking up and staying together because sex changes things.
Let's face it, as much as we'd like to deny it, penetration changes the dynamics between two people and connects them in emotional ways that they, almost always, don't anticipate. Least of all the women. It used to be (or so the fairy tale goes) that you would save yourself for someone who you really cared about, and someone who really cared about you. Sex was a sacred act of love and affection between two people who had decided to take their relationship to the next level. It was a physical expression of love. This appears to be somewhat out-dated, as anyone who has had a one-night-stand can tell you. If you're horny, fuck. It's not a big deal. It's just sex. It's JUST sex. Well pardon me, but huh? How is it females of my generation have been convinced that sharing their bodies intimately is no big deal? It is a big deal!
Men are evolutionarily tuned to want sex from anything with two legs and a heartbeat. I get that, and I don't necessarily judge them for it. Women are the gatekeepers and we've fallen asleep at our post; letting men get away with things that lessen us as people.
This is not a man-hating post. At first glance perhaps I seem to be harbouring some resentment, and maybe I do, but this dynamic is doing a disservice to us all! Men need boundaries. They need it to be a little difficult to get with a lady so they can prove their salt, be a Man (with a capital M) and figure out if this is a woman he would like to be linked with.
Women make it too easy, and as I've seen evidenced with one of my male friends, once he's got someone supplying him with sex, there's no end to the bull shit he'll put up with to keep the supply lines open. It's kind of sad and I feel sorry for the guys that end up with codependent bitches that assume that once a guy has had sex with her, he's hers for life. It’s just not how men think. Sorry ladies.
Women need to decide if they want to open their hearts, and their legs, to a particular man and make that process more rigorous and discerning. Being loose is not empowerment, its poor vetting. It gets us emotionally involved prematurely and fogs our ability to see if the man we're with is a good match.
Another tool of female empowerment, the birth control pill, has also affected our mate selection (see http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/08/new-study-on-pi/). The pill changes our sense of smell, a natural way that we are able to pick men that are genetically different and therefore more desirable for us to mate with. Is it possible that the skyrocketing divorce rate is actually because women have been on the pill and therefore unable to pick the best match for herself? It's possible... I stopped taking the pill yesterday, not purely to improve my ability to sniff out a good man, but it certainly reinforces my belief that my decision was the right one.
So in the interest of all… I have some advice for each of the sexes:
Ladies, perhaps reconsider your birth control options and stop handing out your kitty like if you spread the word wide enough you’ll eventually catch The One. We deserve to be wooed. We should require this of our men. Being a "nice guy" shouldn't be enough. Make him prove he deserves you and talk yourself into believing that you're worth this burden of proof.
Men, be gentlemen, don’t dumb it down for the ladies and keep it in your pants.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Livid
Below is a letter I sent to Alcoa, an aluminum company operating in virgin jungle in the Amazon that I read about in Bloomberg magazine. http://www.bloomberg.com/news/marketsmag/mm_0909_trim3.html
Makes me ill inside when companies shit on the rest of us and tell us we like it.
This is the link to their page that claims they are part of the solution to our global environmental woes http://www.alcoa.com/global/en/eco_alcoa/eco_overview.asp
I'm livid!!!! See below.
I find it interesting the selective information you provide on your website regarding the environmental impact that your company has on this planet.
While I agree that it is important to use lighter materials to reduce the need for fossil fuels in transport, etc. You completely, though not surprisingly, forget to mention that you're tearing up virgin rain forest in the Amazon (highlighted in the current issue of Bloomberg magazine) in order to procure the ore you require for production! So short-sighted!!!
I expect that this note will fall on deaf ears as you probably have billions invested in your current projects in Brazil. It kills me that companies like Alcoa are so sociopathic in nature, destroying untold treasures for the purpose of money and "progress" that is unsustainable and then go on to reframe the argument as though they are the good guys.
So to the underling that has probably stopped reading by now, you can tell your superiors that your company makes me sick.
Makes me ill inside when companies shit on the rest of us and tell us we like it.
This is the link to their page that claims they are part of the solution to our global environmental woes http://www.alcoa.com/global/en/eco_alcoa/eco_overview.asp
I'm livid!!!! See below.
I find it interesting the selective information you provide on your website regarding the environmental impact that your company has on this planet.
While I agree that it is important to use lighter materials to reduce the need for fossil fuels in transport, etc. You completely, though not surprisingly, forget to mention that you're tearing up virgin rain forest in the Amazon (highlighted in the current issue of Bloomberg magazine) in order to procure the ore you require for production! So short-sighted!!!
I expect that this note will fall on deaf ears as you probably have billions invested in your current projects in Brazil. It kills me that companies like Alcoa are so sociopathic in nature, destroying untold treasures for the purpose of money and "progress" that is unsustainable and then go on to reframe the argument as though they are the good guys.
So to the underling that has probably stopped reading by now, you can tell your superiors that your company makes me sick.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Don't Eat the Meat: Response to On-line article
http://hubpages.com/hub/Processed-Meats-Declared-Too-Dangerous-for-Human-Consumption
That's right people, processed meats are too dangerous for human consumption! As if I needed more justification for my predominately whole food diet. Never really been much of an eater of red meat and thank goodness for that!
The United States is a curious beast to me. A strong and smart nation that seems hell bent on self-annihilation. They feed their people some of the worst "food" imaginable and then wonders why its citizens health continues to worsen. A situation where there are multiple social mechanisms to ensure that poor people remain poor and then the poor people who can only afford cheap, processed foods are shamed because they become obese and then have health issues that they can't afford to treat. It's almost criminal. And this all seems to be in the name of profit in the free market. People don't have to eat such concoctions but they do because they're available, convenient and plentiful.
It reminds me of a product Stephen Colbert brought to my attention: a chocolate chip pancake covered sausage on a stick! How this is considered food is beyond me. Just because it's edible does not make it food! Or at least that's what I wish was the case. Over the past few decades, north Americans have become rather lax in what is considered food.
For instance, the Cheezie, a product almost entirely composed of oil.
At a party this weekend one of my friends enlightened as to the pure evil that is this product. We lit a whole bowl of them on fire! Cheezies are flammable like you wouldn't believe! The result was a pile of burnt out ashes and a strange liquid by-product that I was really unsure of. This is what we put in our bodies people! Makes me ill inside thinking of how this food stuff is broken down in the body. It's a marvel really.
Then what I find further interesting is the various comments to the online article: they ranged from outraged to totally skeptical. One poster, referring to themselves as "Republican" called it hippie propaganda and a few questioned where this information was coming from even though it clearly states in the first sentence that the findings come from the World Cancer Research Fund review of 7000 clinical trials looking at the link between diet and cancer.
Why is it that people protect the status quo with such fervor? If people were to stop eating processed foods, whole corporations would go out of business, jobs would be lost and it would hurt the economy. How short-sighted! It is similar to the arguments against action on climate change. If businesses are forced to comply with caps on emissions it will hurt those businesses, assumingly beyond what they can manage financially. But here's the thing, if we do nothing there's a strong possibility that we will be unable to inhabit this planet, maybe not in our lifetime, but probably soon. The same as with food. Once you find out that there's convincing evidence that something is bad for you, that regular consumption of one thing or another will increase the development of cancer cells in your body, the individual should of course stop eating that one thing. One would hope though that the governing bodies on such issues should have a moral responsibility to remove dangerous products from store shelves. Apparently they feel no such responsibility. Its so clear that what is valued above the health of the populous is protecting vested interests.
I sympathize with the Cheezie lovers of the world, and those that can’t live without bacon. I do. We have come to expect that these “things” will be part of our food intake. They’re bad for us, but we don’t care. Same with smoking, so completely harmful, yet smoking is still pretty much state sponsored and accepted as stupid but ok.
We live to kill ourselves.
That's right people, processed meats are too dangerous for human consumption! As if I needed more justification for my predominately whole food diet. Never really been much of an eater of red meat and thank goodness for that!
The United States is a curious beast to me. A strong and smart nation that seems hell bent on self-annihilation. They feed their people some of the worst "food" imaginable and then wonders why its citizens health continues to worsen. A situation where there are multiple social mechanisms to ensure that poor people remain poor and then the poor people who can only afford cheap, processed foods are shamed because they become obese and then have health issues that they can't afford to treat. It's almost criminal. And this all seems to be in the name of profit in the free market. People don't have to eat such concoctions but they do because they're available, convenient and plentiful.
It reminds me of a product Stephen Colbert brought to my attention: a chocolate chip pancake covered sausage on a stick! How this is considered food is beyond me. Just because it's edible does not make it food! Or at least that's what I wish was the case. Over the past few decades, north Americans have become rather lax in what is considered food.
For instance, the Cheezie, a product almost entirely composed of oil.
At a party this weekend one of my friends enlightened as to the pure evil that is this product. We lit a whole bowl of them on fire! Cheezies are flammable like you wouldn't believe! The result was a pile of burnt out ashes and a strange liquid by-product that I was really unsure of. This is what we put in our bodies people! Makes me ill inside thinking of how this food stuff is broken down in the body. It's a marvel really.Then what I find further interesting is the various comments to the online article: they ranged from outraged to totally skeptical. One poster, referring to themselves as "Republican" called it hippie propaganda and a few questioned where this information was coming from even though it clearly states in the first sentence that the findings come from the World Cancer Research Fund review of 7000 clinical trials looking at the link between diet and cancer.
Why is it that people protect the status quo with such fervor? If people were to stop eating processed foods, whole corporations would go out of business, jobs would be lost and it would hurt the economy. How short-sighted! It is similar to the arguments against action on climate change. If businesses are forced to comply with caps on emissions it will hurt those businesses, assumingly beyond what they can manage financially. But here's the thing, if we do nothing there's a strong possibility that we will be unable to inhabit this planet, maybe not in our lifetime, but probably soon. The same as with food. Once you find out that there's convincing evidence that something is bad for you, that regular consumption of one thing or another will increase the development of cancer cells in your body, the individual should of course stop eating that one thing. One would hope though that the governing bodies on such issues should have a moral responsibility to remove dangerous products from store shelves. Apparently they feel no such responsibility. Its so clear that what is valued above the health of the populous is protecting vested interests.
I sympathize with the Cheezie lovers of the world, and those that can’t live without bacon. I do. We have come to expect that these “things” will be part of our food intake. They’re bad for us, but we don’t care. Same with smoking, so completely harmful, yet smoking is still pretty much state sponsored and accepted as stupid but ok.
We live to kill ourselves.
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